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| Dear Husband.... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 18 2006, 09:16 PM (883 Views) | |
| Wizz | Feb 18 2006, 09:16 PM Post #1 |
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>Dear Husband: > >I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've >been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. >These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you >had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came >home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked >your >favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in >two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't >tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're >cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone. > > >P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving >away to West Virginia together! Have >a great life! > > Your EX-Wife > > >Dear Ex-Wife > >Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that >you >and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry >from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your >constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut >off >all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look >just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say >anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me >confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I >went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price >tag >was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had >just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was >$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work >it >out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million >dollars, >I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home >you >were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the >filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you >wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care. > >P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born >Carla. I hope that's not a problem. > > Signed Rich As Hell and Free! 252 |
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2:39 PM Jul 11
