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Dear Friends:
Topic Started: Jan 5 2007, 05:51 PM (824 Views)
Wizz
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Site Administrator

> Happy New Year to all of you and I'd like to extend my heartfelt
> appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
> me "forwards"
> over
> the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed
> and healthy.
>
> * Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue
> on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I
> need to seal an envelope.
>
> * Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
>
> * Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because
> I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing
> characteristic.
>
> * I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
> pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
> * I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
> water buffalo on a hot day.
>
> * I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me
> with a cologne sample and rob me.
>
> * I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
> Mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
> * I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have
> 363,214 angels looking out for me.
>
> * Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
> forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
> minutes.
>
> * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
> internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
>
> * I no longer have any money at all, in fact - but that will change
> once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
> participating in their special on-line email program.
>
> Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I
> will now return the favour!
>
> If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
> minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
> your head at 5:00PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
> actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's

:111

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