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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 5 2007, 05:51 PM (824 Views) | |
| Wizz | Jan 5 2007, 05:51 PM Post #1 |
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> Happy New Year to all of you and I'd like to extend my heartfelt > appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send > me "forwards" > over > the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed > and healthy. > > * Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue > on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I > need to seal an envelope. > > * Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. > > * Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because > I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing > characteristic. > > * I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be > pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. > > * I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a > water buffalo on a hot day. > > * I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me > with a cologne sample and rob me. > > * I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible > Mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. > > * I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have > 363,214 angels looking out for me. > > * Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I > forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five > minutes. > > * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the > internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). > > * I no longer have any money at all, in fact - but that will change > once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for > participating in their special on-line email program. > > Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I > will now return the favour! > > If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 > minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on > your head at 5:00PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it > actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's |
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2:39 PM Jul 11
